Filia's Positively Perfect Plan
by Cyanne
Summary: A fun bit of fluff I wrote very quickly on a whim. Filia decides to annoy Xellos by redecorating her shop...


DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SLAYERS, I NEVER WILL OWN SLAYERS. THAT  
HONOR BELONGS TO HAJIME KANZAKA AND RUI ARAIZUMI, THOSE GENIUSES. I  
JUST BORROW THE CHARACTERS SOMETIMES, BUT I ALWAYS GIVE THEM BACK!  
  
  
FILIA'S POSITIVELY PERFECT PLAN  
  
A Bit of Slayers Fluff by Cyanne  
  
(AN: Post-Try)  
  
Filia went about the business of opening her teashop, humming a cheery tune. She had had a  
wonderful revelation the night before on how to get back at Xellos for always dropping by and  
bugging her. She knew that demons like Xellos fed gleefully on negative emotions, but winced at  
outpourings of postivity. Which was no doubt why he loved to antagonize her but cowered before  
Amelia's "life is wonderful" speeches. So she'd had an Idea.  
  
She would be nothing but completely positive to him. Positively, disgustingly happy, chirpy and  
cute. Flowers, bunnies, and soft puffy clouds. Cute animals with big glowy eyes. Big cut-out  
paper hearts. Smiling suns, sleepy moons. Warmth and fuzziness everlasting.  
  
He wouldn't stand a chance.   
  
And if she could keep it up, maybe he'd never bother her again...that is, If she could keep on  
being...Nice to him.  
  
She shuddered but squared her shoulders. It would be worth it, she had to believe that. Worth to  
get that that annoying filthy namagomi piece of...*ahem*...off her back.  
  
Behind her, the clock chimed. Eight o'clock. Time to open shop.  
  
Filia took a breath and admired her new 'decorations.' She had painted her walls a soft robins-egg  
blue, with fat white clouds and sparkling, colorful rainbows. Her counters and tables were now  
cotton-candy pink, with pictures of adorable forest creatures smiling and frolicking. Wooden signs  
displaying postive sayings everywhere you looked: "Life is beautiful," "Let the sunshine in,"  
"Don't worry be happy," "Accentuate the positive," "Make love not war," "love is a many  
splendored thing," etc..  
  
It was quite daunting.  
  
Filia grinned to herself and went to open the door. It was a beautiful day outside, birds chirping,  
bright blue sky, people laughing happily on their way to work...  
  
It was almost too perfect...  
  
Filia took her place behind the counter and began polishing a vase. Under her breath she sang  
"You are my sunshine," and mentally counted to twenty.  
  
19...  
  
20...  
  
*ping*  
  
Seemingly out of nowhere the mysterious priest appeared, a beguiling expression on his face, and  
gently floated down to just above her eye level.  
  
"Have you missed me, Filia-san?"  
  
*showtime*  
  
"Xellos!" she exclaimed, her face lighting up with joy. Then she grabbed him and kissed him on  
the mouth.  
  
"MMMMMMMWWWWAAAAHH!"  
  
He stiffened automatically and his feet hit the ground with a thump. Filia kept him clasped in tight  
embrace for another few seconds, then gave him her best twinkly-eyed girly smile. "Isn't it a  
beautiful day, Xelly-chan?"  
  
The smile was gone from his face. He looked pale. "Filia, are you ill?"  
  
She sighed dreamily. "I've never felt better. Today I realized just how wonderful the world is, how  
great it is to be alive, how much I love everthing and everyone..."  
  
As she spoke, Xellos had taken a few steps away from her, his violet eyes wide and suspicious. In  
response she leaned toward him over the counter, blinking her eyes innocently... "especially you,  
my dearest, darling..."  
  
"W-Why are you talking like that, Filia-san?" He looked even more suspicious, almost tensed for  
battle.  
  
"Because, Xelly-snookums...I've realized that I love you!"  
  
And she leapt over the table and glomped him again, sending them both crashing to the floor.  
  
And she NUZZLED him.  
  
Xellos yanked himself away from her as if she were burning him. He scrambled toward the door,  
turned around to turn the knob, then blanched as he saw the paper cutout of a pink fluffy bunny  
with a butterfly on its shoulder, holding a daisy and smiling at him with big blue eyes.  
  
Filia giggled. "Isn't it adorable? I've named him Sunshine Happiness, and from now on my shop  
will be known as Sunshine Happiness's Happy Happy Shop of Fuzzy Wonderful Things."  
  
Xellos let out a sharp gasp. She saw sweat pouring down his face, which was dead white. He took  
harsh, ragged breaths, as if he were in pain, and when she tried to move closer to him he bolted  
toward a corner...  
  
...where a bunch of starry-eyed children were dancing with a jolly leprachaun on a rainbow with  
little furry kittens dressed in ballgowns and cravats.  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!!" he gasped.  
  
Filia stood up, her enjoyment of the sight of him cowering in her corner, making her happy smile  
genuine. "Do you like my new decorations, Xellos-chan?"  
  
He glared up at her. "I know--what you're doing," he said slowly. "You're trying to suffocate me  
with positivity."  
  
"And it appears to be working," she replied smugly.  
  
Xellos managed a grim smile. "Ah, but things are not always what they appear, my dearest Filia-  
san..."  
  
Filia blinked. "What--what do you mean?" she sputtered, then gaped as Xellos collapsed...into  
giggles.  
  
"What are you laughing at you stupid--I mean, you adorable lovemuffin bunnykins?"  
  
Xellos laughed even harder. "I'm laughing..." he gasped, nearly overcome by mirth,  
"because...I'm...PRETENDING!"  
  
And he stood up, straight and tall, still grinning. "My dear Filia, you think that by bombarding me  
with positive emotions and images, you render me helpless? You've think you've done your  
homework well, and concluded that since I feed off negative emotions, I will be repelled by  
positive ones?"  
  
Filia's eyes went wide with horror. "It's--it's not true?"  
  
Xellos smirked at her. "While I will admit to a certain--aversion to your new decor, I am by no  
means wounded by it. Has it occurred to you that maybe I'm not only feeding off your negative  
emotions, but your positive ones as well?"  
  
"That's impossible!" she blurted out. "You're lying!"  
  
"Filia, I can feed off any emotion a living thing emits, be it anger or happiness. I simply happen to  
prefer the negative ones. They tend to be much more potent--" he winked at her, "they taste  
better, you might say."  
  
She gaped. "But--but when Amelia said that life was splendid and wonderful... you...you--?"  
  
Xellos chuckled. "There is one major difference between you and Miss Amelia: YOU are faking  
it, my dear. You want to get back at me for always bugging you--nice effort, by the way. But  
revenge is quite a powerful negative emotion--and I thank you for the feast. You are quite  
possibly the best source of nourishment a simple mazoku like myself could hope for."  
  
With that, he leaned over and kissed her, very lightly, but it left a warm sting on her lips. "Until  
we meet again, my vindictive love!"  
  
And he vanished.  
  
Filia stood there, mouth agape, unable to accept what had just occurred. Then her mouth opened  
wider, in a shrill scream that produced a golden ball of light that became a magnificent golden  
dragon...  
  
A very irate golden dragon.  
  
The local law enforcement later received several terrified reports of a large dragon having blown  
the roofs off half the block where Filia's shop had stood.  
  
THE END 


End file.
